Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out in the Real World

I was cleaning out a cupboard the other day and I came upon this list.  I don’t know where it came from, but I thought some of the points were pretty good so I’m posting it here.


1.  Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are onstage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud.  Know who and where you are.

2. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

3. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.  It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

4.  Good sex should involve laughter.  Because it’s, you know, funny.

5.  A woman needs only two tools.  WD-40 and duct tape.  If it doesn’t move, and it should, use WD-40.  If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the tape.

6.   If you tell a lie, don’t believe it deceives only the other person.

7.  The five most essential words in a relationship: “I apologize” and “You are right”.

8.  Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying, “Thank you” though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

9.  Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

10. Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

11. Never marry a man or a woman that you meet in a bar.

12. I’ve learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? On week? One day?

13. You woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance.

14.  Work is good but it’s not important.

15.  Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

16.  Finally…and most importantly…

Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect, it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.

English: Mummified using duct tape
Mummified using duct tape (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2 thoughts on “Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Went Out in the Real World”

    1. I agree. My father was a great lover of masking tape, and used to use it for framing pictures, stopping draughts under doors and holding things together. I still have an old pair of his binoculars with some masking tape on. The birthday present he most loved from me was some octopus straps (known here as “occie straps” – Australians have to shorten everything it’s a national compulsion) and a roll of masking tape. It was much more popular than a new tracksuit. I’m sure if duct tape had been around then he would have taken to it with wild abandon!

      I remember Bette Midler saying years ago in one of her shows: “when you reach 30 your body has a life of it’s own” and I can certainly see now what she meant!

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