Animal Humour

Some funny animal humour from http://www.colourboxdogs.co.uk

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Dobe says to the guy with a Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” The guy with the Dobe says, “Just follow me.”

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, “Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed.” The guy with the Dobe says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.” The guy at the door says, “A Doberman Pinscher?” He says, “Yes, they’re using them now; they’re very good.” The guy at the door says, “Ok. Come on in.”

The guy with the Chihuahua figures, “Why not,” so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.” The guy at the door says, “A Chihuahua?” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”

A fire fighter is polishing a fire engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The little girl is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look, “That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.

“Thanks,” the girl says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied one wagon leash to the dog’s collar and one to the cat’s testicles.

“Little Partner,” the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster.”

The little girl pauses for a moment to think, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks up into the fireman’s eyes and says…… “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren, would I?!”

Collie + Lhasa Apso
Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Pointer + Setter
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Pekingese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Terrier + Bulldog
Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Bloodhound + Labrador
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute + Pointer
Moot Point, owned by…oh well, it doesn’t matter anyway

Collie + Malamute
Commute, a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu
Bull Shih Tzu, a gregarious but unreliable breed

A white horse trotted into a pub and asked for a whisky. The barman said “Certainly Sir, which one would you like? We’ve got Bell’s, Teachers’, Famous Grouse and we’ve even got one named after you.”
“What, Eric?” said the white horse.

 

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